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December 21st, 2011, 2:00 pm

Average Rating: None
There's a bad moon on the rise.
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Author's Comments:

Reply melaredblu, December 20th, 2011, 9:05 pm

I bet you thought the Grim Reaper behind June’s mom three pages ago was just a special effect. You thought wrong.

Reply Advertisement, November 12th, 2019, 9:03 pm

User's Comments:

Reply Webkitty, December 30th, 2011, 4:26 pm

what a creepy guest they have over...what does he eat for dinner? souls with a side of death? haha

Reply Guest, April 18th, 2012, 9:01 pm

more constructive criticism. I can start doing criticism sandwiches if you like. It's mostly fine again, but the "meanwhile, downstairs in the same building..." should definitely just be "meanwhile..."

In the last page, they were in the same room, and since we can tell it's a different room, we can assume that the girl didn't teleport somewhere. There's no indication of a time warp or anything. Does it matter if it's downstairs or upstairs? I would imagine not.

Less words is almost always better than more words.

Reply melaredblu, April 18th, 2012, 9:37 pm

@Guest: Thank you for your advice! I worry so much about my art that it never crossed my mind that the dialogue might be stilted. This is why I need criticism; people like you can point out things that need work that I wouldn't notice otherwise.
The text box was actually supposed to be a jab at the unnecessary "meanwhile" narration boxes in 50s comics, but now that you mention it, I can see how the joke fell flat here. Again, thank you for your input.

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